Who would want a job like this?
A friend sent me this amusing Job Advert , thought you'd like it!
MUM - JOB DESCRIPTION This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, no one would have done it!!!!
POSITION: Mother, Mum, Mumma, Mummy, Ma
JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life. Forward this on to all the Mums you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated.
" Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get "
Working this morning, Hospital for further inflation this afternoon. Will try to get on to read blogs later this afternoon.
Muddie XO
MUM - JOB DESCRIPTION This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, no one would have done it!!!!
POSITION: Mother, Mum, Mumma, Mummy, Ma
JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life. Forward this on to all the Mums you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated.
" Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get "
Working this morning, Hospital for further inflation this afternoon. Will try to get on to read blogs later this afternoon.
Muddie XO

12 Comments:
At May 17, 2007 9:06 AM ,
snailbeachshepherdess said...
We....ll - I think I was actually sucessful at getting one of these jobs ....but cant remember filling the form in ...or going for an interview......
Hope all goes well at hospital
At May 17, 2007 9:29 AM ,
MaidofKent said...
Why are they advertising my job? Am I going to be sacked?
At May 17, 2007 9:42 AM ,
KittyB said...
Hilarious - so true, sadly. We love it though! Mum = masochist.
At May 17, 2007 10:30 AM ,
UN PEU LOUFOQUE said...
Oh I say if my jobs being advertised do you think there is a chance that I might apply for a voluntary redundancy scheme? I've been doing it for 16 years so I should get a nice fat bonus !!
Another thought with equal opportunity schemes and everything do you think they are allowed to only accept female applicaants? I bet they give the job to a bloke they alwasy get the best promotions! SWnot fair.. I shall sue for wrongful dismissal I shall!!
At May 17, 2007 11:03 AM ,
WesterWitch/Headmistress said...
Think I'm only part time now - but still with full tiem worry. Daughter not visited for ages and won't let me eat her easter egg . . .
At May 17, 2007 11:10 AM ,
Suffolkmum said...
Loved this. Gave a bit of a hollow laugh though!!
At May 17, 2007 1:29 PM ,
Inthemud said...
I like the idea of volutary redundancy!
At May 17, 2007 2:21 PM ,
Pondside said...
Too funny! Good luck at the hospital - I hope you can take it easy for the rest of the day!
At May 17, 2007 5:46 PM ,
JacquiMcR said...
I'm going to save this in case I ever get back into the real world and need a CV. Good luck at the hospital - Jacqui x
At May 17, 2007 7:21 PM ,
lixtroll said...
It's wonderful! I'm going to give this to my Mum to read X
At May 17, 2007 9:56 PM ,
Withy Brook said...
Hope all went well at the hospital Luv Rho
At May 18, 2007 12:21 AM ,
CAMILLA said...
Hello dear Muddie, hope all went well at the hospital.
Camilla.xx
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