Sorry to summon you all by the bell- its an emergency!

Headmistress we are SOOO sorry but we didn’t know what else to do!!!!!!

I only popped in with a Brenda story for Blossom and stopped for a quick chat when this chap came wandering downstairs with a clipboard- I wouldn’t have suspected a thing……..strange men wandering up and downstairs? Nothing unusual, but eagle-eye Ex J spotted the green duck on his lapel and had the presence of mind to challenge him. He mumbled something about…..what was it- bedsteads…no!-OFFCUTS? Anyway I was about to tell him we burnt all ours when I noticed a folder headed ‘Health and Safety’ sticking out of his bag. Then he asked the way to the LAB! Well we couldn’t let him in there……..with Toady’ printing press and all those new notes and everything…….so we sent him to the cellar. Clever old Pipany distracted him (were they Janet Raeger, P?- very nice!) whilst I snatched the file and passed it to Faith. We were just panicking, remembering Matron’s ‘still when Mm G came ROARING down the corridor and manhandled him into the broom cupboard!
The file was full of stuff! He found the ducks in the shower, Mousie, the empty bottles in the laundry baskets, some photos of Kitty (is it just me or has the gardener lost weight?) It said something about a gambling licence……not for our little card evenings, surely?….and worse-----he knows what you do in the tack-room, Blossom!
He’s reported 3 cases of wine, 5 of chocolate and 2 of children (but they were grandchildren so they don’t count do they?.) Also there was one lipstick injunction but that’s been dropped-turned out to be lip salve.
So what to do? We just heard some whimpering coming from the broom cupboard but that could be the smallest dog stuck on a mop-handle again (must get the janitor to get Matron a decent mop or some new glasses) Mm G is still jammed against the door and is turning a strange colour………

We don’t know what to do…………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…………….