The Cowarts Ten Torrs Contingent

I am sorry to report that our gels did not cover themselves in glory this year. In spite of the fact that the expedition was called off early the other teams did manage to convey themselves in a seemly manner and and are deserving of their medals. I cannot say the same for Cowarts.
Of course Faith and Blossom were in their element with all the charming young squaddies who were there to assist in this wonderful event. There was much taking down of phone numbers and the reason for our late return to School was that I had to visit several Okehampton hostelries before I found them playing spin the bottle in the skittle alley of the White Hart with ten of Englands' finest.
Suffolkmum and Chickangel broke the seal on the emergency mobile phone to order in pizza for Saturday night supper. This is strictly against the rules. And bribing the poor lad who had to go across country on his moped in the appalling weather to bring two crates of brown ale with him with promises of, well let's just say it was not appropriate behaviour for mothers with young children.
UPL had Madame G bring her a hamper overland in her new cart pulled by three dartmoor ponies. Unfortunately the cart got bogged down just passed Hessery Torr and M.G. had to continue riding one of the poor beasts sidesaddle. I know that these creatures are known for their hardiness but I fear that a Percheron or Suffolk Punch would have been more suitable for the task.
With hindsight it was fortunate that the expedition was called off early because I fear that our gels would have been in no fit state to complete the course having been awake until 4am drinking and singing rugby songs that could be heard all the way down at Mortonhampstead.
I had to bribe one of the charming Dartmoor Rangers to go back up with a trailer to collect the detritus left behind by our team, but at least the glass can be recycled.
Headmistress could you please arrange for the Janitor to power wash out the School Minibus, and a liberal application of Jeyes fluid would not go amiss.